✖ Coffee love ✖

rethinking my plan ^w^

so people can't be realistic now a days XD

losers much.

I really want my educaton first if anything.

so here is my new list

• do scholorships, college application and fasfa
  
• get into a good college  cuny or city by january
• pursue my illustrating career
  
• have a job during this...
• pay off some of the schooling bill
• get a small studio for myself

so far this is all I have...

I'm still a senior in high school and I'm graduating this year if I play my cards right I should accomplish this by 25 ;.; I need to get on the ball.

lol out of 613 watchers only 3 people actually care that I left my furaffinity :I

wow... thats extremely nice... the ones who watch my site are excused to my rage fest cause well they watch my main site you will always be informed.

The fact that that happened to me made me wonder how people felt about me an my artwork  :I

well I state my opinions very bluntly so I could only imagine how people thought of me cause  people rather you lie an sweet talk them.. oh plz

well what a joyous community... personally my experience there was just gross. I actually tested something..

with commissions  at least..

I put up a journal offering $4 sketch commissions... like seriously why would I offer anything so detailed under $5...

can you believe some one wanted an example and kept nagging about the detail .. um I had an example its either you get one or you dont.... its $4... you wouldnt try to hagle with a more populaour artist charging you $30-$40 bucks for a fucking sketch.... no you wouldnt.

That community was a trip. The most problem I've ever had with DA is the forums so I stay clear of that place... on DA

I'm really starting to enjoy my DA account again.

On FA good lord.. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA even popular artist were full of themselves.. I had one watch me on LJ just to keep track of me.. talk about paranoid -.-.... oh god I could go on an on an on.. about what I was exposed to on that site.... -.-

I've been happier since I left. DA has so much more to offer and I dont have to afraid of posting a genre since the place is well rounded.

I think what got me agry the most is when I had people commission me an try to make me lover my pricing when they would then go and commission art from a popular person  for less detail and allot more money.. GTFO OF HERE WITH THAT..

bahhh.... I'm never returning to FA at all...

as for my livejournal I really didnt see the need for it...

need to get a cheap apartment... my parents think they can control mewith a simple phrase I pay the bills yeah thats great an all and I'm alet you finish but... thats not my problem... My problem is my lifepresuing my life dreams in illustrating and happiness.... I seriouslyhate that yeah when I'm 21 I can leave.. i dont think so be sure to seeme out of my parents house by 19... annoying I swear..whats even worse racism and fuck you mom dont give me an acesent cause you want to sound intimidating..

ugh... I really hate my mother sometimes. I cant stand how hypocritical, racist, and ignorat they are...

so this drama started after I left 2 plates in the sink.. yeah as simple as that.. my granmother complains to my mom about it even after my granmother told me if I leave a plate in the sink put water in it so it doesnt attract anything then go back to it.. I was going to was it in the morning...

So I wake  up and of course its washed -.-

an this is why my grandmother bitches even when I tell her leavee my plates alone cause I'll wash them..

My mother complains how I don't pay the bills and how my granmother can be a hypocrite cause she pays the bills... and yes I said to my mother this family is hypocrite I'm blunt and if she hits me she knows I'll fight her ass back.. it's happened before.. I'm extremely teritorial when it comes to my body so don't touch me..

so she complains and you know  what really struck me hard was that racist ass slur she said.. "oh were jamaican, we don't live like those dutty putaricans do, cause you know they live in a rat roach hotel"  thiscomment was obviously to offend my bf..

come again bitch... look at our last name morgan um we obviously have spainard decent so shut your trap..

I cant stand comments like this. she even called me a dirty yankeee well thank you I'm glad I grew in a country with such freedom why would I want to be born on a shit hole island.. trust me I've been there.............. -.- not a good experience.

like come on she even dissed my chinese heritage at one point before and its not in my blood way back.. its from my father directly -.- dont even touch that subject.

I need to leave this fuck hole of a place cause 3 women in a house gtfo..

so here is my list

• work on my college application
• get a decent job
• save my money
• move the fuck out in a cheap appartment.
• an keep my career jobin check
  

wtf happened I dont feel motivated at all...

I'm happy I finished my last trade last night cause ugh.. I feel so burnt.

I really want to draw but its like wtf 

I think I ight make an oldies folder with past art and characters ..

Yep I have a fever.

But hopefully friday goes well without any surprises.

I feel horrible but I want to draw but my body is in pain.

So in other news I deleted my LJ and FA I dont think I need those sites I have a blog here and a gallery, not to mention DA.

okay... I really Really hate to see this....

I hate to see when someone just meets some one and its all "omfg I'm in love" or "shes the one" after a few weeks.. You barely know the person....

Stuff like that never lasts... Even after years and years You still dont know the person nor do they completely know you :/

gosh... personally I'm surrounded by a bunch of love sick teens who need to find themselves. I think worrying who you will be with at this age is the last  of your problems -.- get a life...

DA FA and most likely others except concept art are jokes...

I'm not bashing but I experience it too much -.-

what is the point of being there if  all you get is faves and no feed back...

I wish DA didnt have that collection bullshit.. I bet people dont even lok at the art.. they just see the thumbnail and drag it into thier faves..

Gosh.. Its damn annoying..This is what makes me not want to post on art communities.. its the friends that keep me there to be honest..

I'm so temped of getting rid of my FA account as well.. its like if your not already popular you wont get noticed or even get crit if you ask..

Its like people dont read artist comments or what ever its just another fave..

Its either that or I have watchers who have dead accounts..

hopefully this didn't come off wrong.. but this is how I feel unappriciated and just a shit artist at times... I post on an art community to get feedback. I do draw for myself but I wouldnt post on a community site if I didn't want responses...

so far I have trades with;

Lionessninja@DA

Sumu-Sazu@DA

Gifts I'm working on for;

Doomchan@DA

I'mnot gonna take trades for awhile either OxO sorry but I like not beingpressured... that's how I am if I'm pressured the trade comes outreally shitty and I don't want that.

EDIT: done and starting my new batch

Image done on illust studio <3 I really love the progam to death. I have the trial but it never ends I just have to read it in japanese and my  past knolege of ps... to compehend everything.

I'm not posting this on my site its on my FA its just a head bust so yeah and the character belongs to shnellz